Recent articles about the state of social media have been covered in the media. In a number of cases, the Supreme Court has looked at repression and the government’s role in regulating or policing businesses and content. Beyond the policy-related queries that social media poses, however, the social issues seem even more important.
In our impulsive, atomized globe, two characteristics that make humans people seem in quite short provide: empathy and connection. While technology makes it easier than ever to communicate with millions, if not billions, of people, those connections even seem more superficial, leaving many looking for deeper connections, which frequently seem much too elusive.
Outreach in Tough Times
The year 2023 was” never a time on which I shall appear again with pure satisfaction,” to use the words of the late Queen Elizabeth II. … It has turned out to be an friend horribilis”. A storm that thankfully was covered by insurance, a rapid decline of what I thought would be my ideal work environment, a files violation leading to identity theft, and three separate surgeries ( with a third on the way ), as well as a third that caused my house to be hardly habitable for a while, and a data breach that led to identity theft added to the challenges that might have put the patience of Job to test.
But some in my social circle know not of some, or all, of these events, and might express surprise when learning of them. On the other hand, it was simple to say that not knowing results from not taking the time to inquire.
I wrote about the necessity to reach out to others, especially during the holiday season at The Federalist more than five years ago, just before Christmas 2018. I noted at the time that “generally I reach out to my coworkers to check if they’re okay, or set up a time to meet, rather than the other way around.”
That was true back then and for the majority of the time since. However, it can become disheartening, even demoralizing at some point when one person comes to the realization that they almost always engage in intentional outreach in a relationship and feels like one must nag or pester other people to get interested.
Use Phones for Good, Not Evil
Granted, as I noted back in 2018, “many of my friends have commitments to spouses and children”, which can make keeping in touch more difficult. But ultimately, the type of relationships and connections we make, and keep, has much to do with our priorities.
As someone blessed with a keen ( and lucrative ) memory, I recognize that those with more, and more pressing, commitments can fail to reach out for the most innocent and well- meaning of reasons.
However, if we allow them, the ubiquitous phones we have at our disposal almost daily provide a solution. It only takes a few seconds to text a close friend to see how they are doing. A daily or weekly reminder can also be useful if one becomes preoccupied with work or other obligations.
We as a society can and will debate whether social media can and ca n’t be controlled by the government. But would n’t it be better for everyone if we spent a few minutes texting the people we value the most in life instead of using our phones to engage in Twitter battles or post narcissistic selfies on Instagram? Better yet, why not utilize one’s phone for its original purpose, and engage in a conversation, even a brief one, to hear the reassuring sound of a friend’s voice?
Reaching out is Important.
Politically, I do n’t agree with Surgeon General Vivek Murthy on much. His office’s advisory on loneliness and mental health last year often ventured into realms of big government ( “examine policies across sectors, including health, education, labor, housing, transportation, and the environment”, “invest in social infrastructure” ) and woke identity politics ( “diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility are critical components of … an overarching social connection strategy” ).
But I do agree with Murthy’s call for Americans to take a few minutes, preferably every day, but at least once a week, to reach out to others, including people they may not have connected with for weeks, months, or even years. It wo n’t take much time, and should n’t hurt at all.
Restarting a conversation with someone you have n’t spoken to in a while may prove slightly awkward, but from experience, that generally only lasts a few moments. More importantly, it will strengthen the social and emotional bonds that define us as humans. The strength of our community is only as strong as the commitment we make to keeping it, as a dear friend of mine once said.
Taking the time to rekindle a friendship may not significantly improve your life. But it could dramatically improve someone else’s life — and that’s really the point.
