The continuously agonizing Taika Waititi is remaking Terry Gilliam’s traditional 1981 funny Time Bandits for Apple TV +… without the gnomes.
Waititi has even done — sigh — a female swap. A girl ( Lisa Kudrow ) will now lead the time bandits — the role the great David Rappaport filled so memorably in the original.
Worst of all, Waititi thinks he may bend a two-hour video into a ten-part line.
Bounding Into Comics reported:
In a decision apparently made in order to be more ‘inclusive’ and less disrespectful, Taika Waititi’s upcoming broadcast remake of Time Bandits will no longer notice dwarfs accompanying character Kevin on his journeys, but somewhat regularly-sized people.
…
Therein, Kevin ( Kal-El Tuck ) can be seen standing in a field standing side-by-side with the titular Time Bandits ( Tasha Murphy, Roger Jean Nsengiyumva, Kiera Thompson, and Rune Temte ) and their leader Penelope ( Lisa Kudrow ), a new character developed exclusively for the series.
Everyone else getting those Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs feelings?
Can someone please explain to me how NOT hiring actors from a tiny minority group ( pun definitely intended ) qualifies as woke?
Can someone explain to me how replacing those who make up less than one percent of the population ( dwarfs ) with those who make up 99 percent of the population ( normal-sized people ) qualifies as progress, as enlightenment, and as sensitive?
Is n’t replacing a majority party with a lot class prejudice?
I blame that shrewd dragon Peter Dinklage. After the Disney Grooming Syndicate announced its live-action version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Dinklage ( who is a dwarf or transvestite or little people or whatever the accepted expression is these days ) went all Rumpelstiltskin…
“It makes no sense to me. Because you’re democratic in one manner, but you’re also making that stupid forward story about seven dwarfs living in a cave up, what the fuck are you doing, person? ” Dinklage raged. “Have I done everything to advance the cause from my shampoo field? I guess I’m no quiet enough. ”
Of course, he did say that. This ensures he has no competitors in the midget office. Dinklage ( who’s a superb actor ) has cornered this market for two decades, and by crying “backwards ” every time another dwarf might be hired, no other dwarf will ever get the opportunity to break out and compete with Dinklage for those roles.
I only don’t get why anyone would view Waititi’s silly remake when you can view the 1981 unique, which is an overall comedy classic filled with real film stars: Sean Connery, John Cleese , Shelley Duvall , Ralph Richardson , Katherine Helmond , Ian Holm , Michael Palin , and David Warner. The Cleese field exclusively is absolute gold.
And there’s everything bad in Gilliam’s decision to put six dwarfs as his larrikin gang of period bandits. Sure, their ( lack of ) height is used for laughs, but it ’s all good-natured. There is no parody. Each of the six thieves has a distinct character, especially Rappaport’s Randall, who is a complex man in full ( as the destined gentleman was in real life ).
When Time Bandits ends, we don’t see the six gnomes as quips, because Gilliam portrays them as actual individuals who just happen to be dwarfs. By the time the certificates position we admire their courage, tenacity, and determination to develop into better males than the soldiers we’re first introduced to.
You know, we both have options in the 21st century. You can piss away ten hours watching an inferior, woke version of Time Bandits, or you can spend those same ten hours watching or even rewatching Gilliam’s best movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail ( 1975 ), Time Bandits ( 1981 ), Brazil ( 1985 ), The Fisher King ( 1991 ) and 12 Monkeys ( 1995 ).
Also if you have already seen them, even if you have already seen them many times ( as I have ), I promise that when that workout is over you will have made many better use of your time. Gilliam ( who reportedly stalked off the set of this remake in disgust ) does n’t only entertain… Through his humor, unique characters, and wonderfully skewed view of the world, he explores what it means to be human, the absurdities of life, and how we relate to one another.
Gilliam is a talent.
Waititi is an empty coat, a self-absorbed exploit making movies just to please left-wing Hollywood.
There is no cause you have to put up with this garbage. There is so much that came earlier that you have n’t seen. that will be new to you … And I promise you, looking up is well worth your time.
John Nolte’s first and last book , Borrowed Time , is winning five-star raves from normal readers. You can read an excerpt these and an in-depth review below. Even accessible in hardcover and on Kindle and Audiobook.
