The Morning Briefing: I’m Taking a Break to Help Illegal Aliens Fill Out Their Mail-In Ballots

Top O’ the Briefing

Happy Monday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. The Sine Qua Non Sequitur is attending a deep tissue massage intensive in Canandaigua, NY this week. 

Yeah, I never know if I’m writing satire or not anymore. I do miss the days when the lines were clearer on that. 

Some friends and frequent readers of mine have noticed occasional bits of gloom and doom creeping into some of what I write about the upcoming presidential election. As I’ve explained in a few previous columns, when the gloom mood hits me, I write about it, get it out of my system, then return to my regular Zen-like approach to politics. 

It’s cheaper than therapy and healthier than cirrhosis.

The thing is, those moods used to be infrequent. Now they’re popping up like drunk and disorderly complaints during a Kennedy cousins weekend. The frequency has really picked up since Joe Biden was tweeted out of the race and Kamala Harris was anointed to carry out Basement Strategy 2.0.  I believe that was a little over two weeks ago, but it feels like it has been a good eight months since then. 

As I wrote a couple of days after the Biden palace coup went down on X, the Democrats are quite practiced at using chaos as a diversion to keep people distracted from whichever nefarious deed they’re working on that day. Knowing that has been occasionally nagging at me during my off hours. 

While it’s important to be cognizant of the fact that the Democrats are always working on new ways to muck up the election works, it’s equally important to remember that they never abandon the classics. 

This is from a post Rick wrote about a purging of the voter rolls in Ohio:

Maintaining voter registration rolls used to be a boring, non-controversial housekeeping task done by bureaucrats.

But in recent years, it’s become an issue of “voting rights.” Apparently, once you sign up to vote, not even death should keep you from voting. And if you moved out of state, maybe you might move back — in which case your name cannot be purged from the voter rolls.

And does anyone really care if you’re a citizen of the United States or not in order to vote?

That’s what Democrats think, anyway. It’s racist to police voter registration rolls. It’s a Republican trick to remove blacks and Hispanics from the rolls and prevent them from voting.

The Democrats are, as we know, opposed to anything that would promote cleaner, more transparent elections. They don’t even pretend to want clean elections; the messier, the better, as far as they’re concerned. If they had their way, voter registration would be outlawed. 

Another thing we are all painfully aware of is the Democrats’ yearning to get all of the people they’ve let crash the southern border to the polls, whether via mail or in person. Legal or illegal, it matters not to them because they’re playing a numbers game. The more, the merrier.

Here in Arizona, we obviously absorb more of the open border abuse than most states. Unlike the other border states, we’re now a swing state. The Dems are no doubt hoping that every single “migrant” here casts a vote for the Harris-Disaster ticket in this fall. They just got a generous assist towards that end. This is from a recent post of Matt’s: 

On Thursday, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals reversed itself and will now allow Arizonans to register to vote in federal races without having to prove citizenship.

“It’s another dizzying swerve in the legal battle over a 2022 law that aims ultimately to reverse a portion of the National Voter Registration Act and require all Arizona voters to show proof of citizenship to register to vote,” reports USA Today. “The order reopens a path for potential voters who just two weeks ago were barred from using the state voter registration form to sign up to vote unless they could produce proof of U.S. citizenship. It comes with two months left before the Oct. 7 registration deadline for the high-stakes presidential election.”

Lest you think that this seems rife for abuse, registrants have to double super pinky swear “under penalty of perjury” that they are totes citizens of the Republic. 

I feel better already. 

The latest Real Clear Polling average has former President Donald Trump with a meager two-point edge over Kamala Harris here in the Grand Canyon State. That gap has narrowed quite a bit since President LOLEightyonemillion was kicked to the curb. It’s probably some of the honeymoon effect polling that the Trump-Vance campaign warned supporters about. I feel somewhat confident that the numbers will readjust in Trump’s favor. Still, the state is far more in play than it should be, even without any illegals voting. 

The pinky swear registrations are a godsend for the Democrats. 

So…maybe I should spend some time helping the newly minted voters fill out their mail-in ballots. My Spanish is passable, I might be able to be a one-man counter harvesting operation. I’m always up for new challenges. 

And I still don’t know if I’m kidding. 

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Everything Isn’t Awful

“Dog Climbing Into a Hammock” is also the name of my forthcoming acapella folk album.

Dog climbing into a hammock.. 😅 pic.twitter.com/fPOWph3nSN

— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) August 1, 2024

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Bee Me

Kamala Addresses Black Crowd Wearing Do-rag And Giant Gold Dollar Sign Necklace https://t.co/TTl7AdlJwU

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) August 4, 2024

The Kruiser Kabana

Kabana Gallery

Flowers in a Glass https://t.co/aqXZl36xPy pic.twitter.com/iGsK0NI7Tr

— Henri-Edmond Cross (@edmond_cross) August 4, 2024

Kabana Comedy/Tunes

I didn’t know until very recently that “The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart” went to Number 1 on the Billboard Pop Chart. 

   

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