Greenland has a community of 57, 000 people in total. Elon Musk is currently worth about$ 425.2 billion.
So Musk could give everyone in Greenland a million dollars for the low rate of just$ 57 billion, which would mean they could simply purchase it. ( And he’d still have about$ 375 billion left over. )
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There’s precedence for these multibillion-dollar, hit buying: In 2022, Musk bought Online for$ 44 billion. Who knew that Twitter was supposedly for simply$ 13 billion more than Greenland?
Of course, when he bought Online, Musk was “only” for a paltry$ 219 billion. ( Poor guy. ) Therefore, purchasing Greenland had now account for much more of his prosperity than purchasing it today.
Theoretically, there’s nothing to stop Musk from buying the land on his own — and then reselling it to the U. S. state. ( In exchange, perhaps, for exclusive rare earth mining rights? ) Muss is really rich enough to pull it off without using excessive leverage.
Although the Biden-Harris real estate market has made that benchmark unrealistic for most young people, financial experts typically advise that you allocate no more than 25 % to 40 % of your net worth to housing. Well,$ 57 billion is only about 15 % of Musk’s net worth.
Which means that Musk is able to purchase Greenland more easily than the typical American can! ( Three cheers for Bidenomics! )
Cash deals. Money is power. Elon Musk is the world’s wealthiest person, the United States of America is the world’s wealthiest state. Working up, they absolutely could get Greenland.  ,
And there might be a few local Icelanders with strong cultural ties to their home country, too. That’s to be expected. However, under this strategy, a Greenlandic family of five had receive$ 5 million! Put in a five-pack of British membership cards, an house in Palm Beach, and even pleasant account at Mar-a-Lago, and Greenland will become clear in less than an hour.
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Trust me: I live in Tampa Bay, Fla. NOBODY is gonna pick Greenland over Florida! ( Believe it or not, there are more enrolled students at the University of Central Florida than there are in Greenland overall. )
Related: The Age of Covfefe Has Formally Begun!
Our European friends and allies have responded to Trump’s Greenland overtures with their snooty, buttoned-up bloviation and/or righteous indignation: Germany declared that “borders must not be moved by force” because the permanency of borders is “fundamental international law” . ,
However, France spat out a crab and puffed out her torso:” There is no question of the EU letting different nations in the world, whoever they may be, strike its sovereign borders”, French Foreign Minister Jean-Noel Barrot warned a reporter,” We are a powerful continent, we must be stronger”.
But other than talking difficult, there’s not much Western countries can perform. They haven’t got much weapons to do any bouncing because they have outsourced their defense spending to the United States for so much. To many NATO countries have steadfastly refused to pay their fair share, yet with Putin eyeing Ukraine and gobbled up country.
Germany was unable to forgo that Russki petrochemical and remained deaf for as long as it was. They prioritize their financial goals over the rest.
Of course, they weren’t the only people. Germany had plenty of business.
In 2024, the United States spent$ 755 billion to finance our defense. The rest of NATO combined spent simply$ 430 billion. About 10 of the NATO nations ( including vocal “partners”, like Canada ) are paying significantly less than the agreed-upon 2 % basement.
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Over in Europe, their sacred” royal edges” had been constantly violated by migrants, refugees, and asylum-seekers. The edges of Europe have constantly and consistently changed. Honestly, it sounds like Europeans are more anxious about Trump’s regional interests than Putin’s.
And also, if the citizens of Greenland decide they’d like to join the United States of America, who the devil is Denmark to show’ em they doesn’t? We’re not in the time of empires and colonies again. Even if the Danes disagree, the Greenlanders should be able to set their personal course.
There’s everything nasty in Denmark. Luckily, Trump and Musk are arriving with Tupperware.
Plus, a whole lot of cash.