Donald Trump Could Pull the Funniest, Most Evil Prank EVER on Canada!

” What’s in a name? Any another name for a rose that we call it may taste as sweet. —William” Billy Boy” Shakespeare

With all due regard to the Bard, Juliet was completely, entirely wrong with the above quote. ( But then again, she was a stupid 13-year-old child, which kind of ruins that “romantic” love story. ) Turns out, titles are very important! Been that manner since the Biblical era, when names and titles were Godly bestowed: Jacob became Israel, Abram became Abraham.

Hurricanes Helene and Milton flooded my Tampa Bay home last year, causing a lot of damage ( and ruining three of our cars ). If the storms had been renamed Satan and Lucifer, we would have effected the evacuation WAY earlier. I’m not scared of a Helene or a Milton, but I ain’t sticking around for Hurricane Lucifer.

That’s the power of brands.

Donald Trump is undoubtedly the most skilled legislator to name things in history. ( Close runner-up is Alexander the Great, but he only named stuff after himself, which got repetitive. Although, one time, he named a city after his horse. ) Trump named his movements “MAGA”. He renamed Hillary Clinton” Crooked Hillary”. Joe Biden changed to” Fatigued Joe.” Nikki Haley became” Birdbrain”. Adam Schiff is” Shifty Schiff”. And Elizabeth Warren, of course, will always be known as” Pocahontas”.

At second, the social media excoriated Trump for “lowering the common conversation” with his “unpresidential” name-calling. ( And then they called him “literally Hitler” for the next eight years straight, demonstrating that their objection to name-calling was highly selective. )

But Trump was best. Titles are part and parcel of a woman’s brand personality, so if you can redefine their name, you may redefine their product. It’s a smart PR strategy. And it’s important to point out that it took a non-politician to understand its usefulness, someone who wasn’t even a member of the political establishment.

As the ancient appearance goes,” Whoever discovered water wasn’t a fish”. Destructive fresh concepts essentially constantly spring from the ground.

And the problems keep on coming: The Gulf of Mexico is now the Gulf of America. The Panama Canal might change into the American Canal. ( Which is an idea I think Trump stole from me, but that’s okay, because I stole the idea from Father Guido Sarducci. ) The fresh French Riviera will be the Gaza Strip.

Next we come to Canada.

You know the dealio:” Governor” Trudeau. Our 51st condition. Never a real state.

Also, a few days ago, the soon-to-be state of Canada beat the United States of America in a little-known game called “hockey”. ( It’s a crazy, market game with stones, skates, and a ball. Obviously, people play it when it’s too damned snowy to try a REAL game, like football or baseball. ) Governor Trudeau puffed out his chest and whipped out the ol ‘ Tweeting Machine as he fled with a stunning Canuck victory.

You can’t get our country — and you can’t get our game.

— Justin Trudeau ( @JustinTrudeau ) February 21, 2025

I don’t know what that means. Kudos to Canada for winning one ( exhibition? ) game, but a French team hasn’t won the Stanley Cup since 1993! That’s so much before, I’m mocking you — and I’m a wigging Dallas Cowboys lover! ( Hey, we last won the Super Bowl in 1996. We’re at least 2.5 times better than Canada. )

Along with his flair at naming, the other thing we know ( and like ) about Donald Trump is that he’s one terrible grappler. You come at him with a punch, and Trump may respond with an left, a hare blow, copper knuckles, an eye cut, and a swift blow to the home jewels.

Trump doesn’t do “proportionate responses” .&nbsp,

But we know he’ll get responding to Trudeau. Our north governor is well aware that he won’t let him get the last word. The question, therefore, is how.

And I believe I have another excellent idea for Trump to pilfer:

In the aftermath of the” Gulf of America”, we’ve learned the official policy of Google Maps: Whenever the U. S. state changes a title in its U. S. Geographic Names System, Google’s plan is to immediately use that name within that state. That’s why Google Maps complied so fast, adopting the new title of” Gulf of America” for all U. S. based people.

You know what this means, correctly?

Google does have NO choice but to go with it if Trump wants to change the name of Canada in the U.S. Geographic Names System.

This is a target-rich option for evil!

Trump was name Canada” The 51st State”. Or” The No Stanley Cup Place”. Or” Where America Stores Our Zamboni Equipment”.

But I’m kind of limited to Homer Simpson’s brand for Canada:

The” America Junior” and the United States of America. Then that’s a clever name!

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