Content Friday, ladies and soft visitors.
I sincerely hope you are well from this message.
But, earlier this year, I was perusing X because I was a glutton for punishment. While scrolling, I came across this picture from The Daily Wire’s Matt Walsh about his struggles with his family’s goat purchases.
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Join the most recent part of our home. twitter.com/pPiSZitAiV— The Matt Walsh Show ( @MattWalshShow ) March 24, 2025
Oh, kindly, Walsh. Not a sheep history, that. THIS is a sheep tale.
My wife and I both saw us puzzle over the garden of our brand-new residence shortly after we started dating. Because it was brand-new, there was no vegetation, and fighting invasive weeds in a high desert culture is enough to force Navy Seals to start their day jobs and work as TikTok influencers. We did try our hand at xeriscaping, but dogs and xeriscaping do not mix, so we had difficulty finding a gardener to put in bastard.  ,
Mrs. Brown suggested that we bring some animals to have the plants. She was aware of a man who raised them and offered to purchase a set for a more-than-reasonable value. sufficient fairness. We could accommodate two grotesque goats on our house, which was a lot.
Heh.
I set about installing 2x12s to prevent the animals from fleeing into the nearby grazing by goat-proofing the back half of the house, shoring up the jagged line, and installing 2x12s. I also donned my beloved Justin Roper grass Stetson and headed to the neighborhood farm and ranch store to purchase sheep feed, a variety block, and a watering trough. I had more than one sense of security knowing that we would treatment for our flock of two when Goat Day arrived. I immediately deposited the animals in the rear pasture when they arrived, and Mrs. Brown took to the job. I arrived an hour after to check on our two-person cattle. There was no two-person flock. There wasn’t even a flock of one. The small demons had taken a break from it.  ,
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I inquired about any companions who had seen any animals that were missing. One roommate told another, and the other told another. What began as one man’s search for his missing animals turned into a grandiose story deserving of” The Brotherhood of the Ring,” to the delight of my neighborhood. I was aided by a large group of people who were scouring the land for the illiterate animals. A wonderful young woman who was on the cowboy circuit and who was also very nice with a rope, a must-have on a goat-recovery expedition, was included.  ,
We discovered them holed up under a swarm of pine branches two agonizing days later. They couldn’t be caught, they couldn’t get grabbed, or otherwise apprehended. Goats are incredibly efficient and adept at avoiding record. Yet the dance monarch was unable to tie them. Finally, a sort of crackdown was created, and the animals were taken into custody. Some leads were created using the rope. However, it turns out that you didn’t take sheep wherever they’re not interested in going. They would bleat pathetically, throw themselves on the ground, and enjoy useless as soon as I tried to bring them back home. Before I realized that this program was in naught, it went on for about ten feet.
The result of this was that I had to take two sheep back home for a wonderful hour and a half. Two animals scream, pee, poo, and slobber. I somehow managed to put them in the yard’s eight-foot gate, which is a Sisyphean equivalent of what I’m doing. In the garden, the animals were now making an evil racket. Simply settling in, I suppose.
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I was stung, stung, and covered in sweat, sheep feces, urine, and spit. I was hurting, bloody from branches and brambles, and bruised. And I was worn out. The phone next rang. Mrs. Brown was the culprit. How are the animals, the joyful voice on the other end remarking?
” How are the animals doing? How are the animals doing? Let me tell you about the animals that are @#$ %&.
I wrote about how our ugly Christmas show one time made me have cases of beer for the entire community, yet the Mormons. This was the next time I had to do that.  ,
It would have seemed like the story would end when the sheep were chased behind a gate. Far from it. The position of the plants was unchanged after we had the goats. People in the know had recommended handing the sheep treats to getting them used to people interaction. But we tried mangoes, which they both adored a lot. That, of course, provided an explanation for why they weren’t consuming the plants. They favored fruits, after all, more than plants. Nevertheless, who doesn’t?
Therefore, the home motto was” Well, we have no mangoes” when it came to the animals. Bananas, Sans , the animals jumped into the plants. However, they only consumed the leaves, so we had a plentiful supply of roots in the yard.  ,
That was the worst aspect of it, I wished, but it wasn’t. Our canine house had mysteriously vanished. In the backyard’s edge, I discovered it. In an attempt to escape, the wolves had pushed it against the gate to use it as a wooden rope. They had come at you head-on and make their ennui known if they got bored. No man enjoys being hit in the lateral by a sheep, but I can tell you from a terrible experience that it beats the other.  ,
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Even under the cover of night, we were not healthy. A pair of animals were seen peering at us from the darkness if we turned on a light in the bedroom and discover the thunk of top hooves hitting the bathroom window. We had to move out of bed, bellycrawl to the might, and conduct our business in the dark if we needed to use the bathroom, in case a light from the back of the curtains fails to warn the monster spawn that had taken control of our backyard.  ,
When I got home from work, things started to get ugly, and a neighbor suggested I check up on the animals more frequently. ” Why”? I inquired. They were well-off with food, water, shelter, shelter, and plenty of stems. She informed me that the animals were ramming the house’s large crystal pane in our presence. What two goats had do while unattended in a family home was what I saw right away. And what my plan representative would say if I attempted to claim. We called the person who had sold us the animals.
” Come getting your sheep,” he says.
“What?”
” Come getting your sheep,” he says.
I’m not giving you your wealth, ba…
 ,” Don’t worry. Bring your animals.
He did, and as he rounded them up, it sounded like shouts of the damned at the Last Judgment. However, we did manage to get a good night’s sleep. Additionally, I discovered a roofer.
You don’t know anything about the evil that comes with owning a goat, Walsh, and I mean nothing about it. But you will, dear, you did.
Wines Advice
Because merely recalling the struggle makes me wish to grab a beverage.
This time, I discovered something on the clearance section, which was a wonderful surprise. Although it wasn’t particularly mind-blowing, it did yield a great glass or two. The Ondalán Tempranillo can be seen.  ,
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This wine will cost between$ 13 and$ 115 on average. It leans strongly toward the dry area and is a little extreme, but not so much that it overwhelms the palate as one might expect from a Tempranillo. It has large tannins and a high level of acidity, which is common. A good deal of fragrance is present in it, along with a good deal of plum, a little bit of blackberry, and a comfortable presence of oak. Additionally, it finishes extremely also, with a hint of dust in the finish.  ,
Match it with a tasty red meat food. It’s good as a board wine on its own, but it really works the best.  ,
That’s it for me. Have a wonderful trip, and I’ll see you next.
I wouldn’t recommend getting animals if you want to add something special to your career. Well, you may if you want to, but you have been warned. Why not join as a VIP part otherwise? You can also enjoy a veritable buffet of cool perks that only our insiders can access ( stems not included ), in addition to supporting the work we do on these pages. Apply the discount code FIGHT to receive a 60 % reduction by signing up by clicking here.  ,
