There have been many, many Vans in history, some better than others. Been at least one U.S. president, Martin Van Buren. (And our current V.P., JD Vance. Well, kind of.) Dick Van Dyke is still around. So are VW vans. And, in addition to your friends and Romans, our old pal Vincent Van Gogh would be delighted to lend you an ear.
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‘Course, the less said about Van Jones, the better.
But the single greatest Van of all-time is Van Halen, period, end of story. (And in case you’re wondering, David Lee Roth > Sammy Hagar, period, end of story.) Runner up is Jean-Claude Van Damme, mostly for his realistic portrayal of classic MMA training in the cinematic masterpiece “Bloodsport”:
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As for the WORST Van, I’m hereby nominating the senior senator from the great state of Maryland, Chris Van Hollen. He’s takin it upon himself to attack Trump where he’s electorally strongest, dedicating his resources to (re-)importing illegal aliens. He just got back from El Salvador after posing for the world’s dopiest photo-op:
Kilmar Abrego Garcia, miraculously risen from the “death camps” & “torture”, now sipping margaritas with Sen. Van Hollen in the tropical paradise of El Salvador!🍹 pic.twitter.com/r6VWc6Fjtn
— Nayib Bukele (@nayibbukele) April 18, 2025
I gotta say, Van Halen’s “Panama” was a helluva lot better than Van Hollen’s “El Salvador.” Check out these sweet guitar licks:
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Attacking Trump on immigration is a curious tactic. As Axios reported earlier in the week:
The president is polling better on immigration: About half of U.S. adults approve of his approach to immigration, per the AP-NORC survey.
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Dishonest outlets are playing the Spin Game, perhaps as a prelude to the Crying Game. The Independent’s story today screamed, “Trump’s approval rating on immigration has tanked in recent weeks as more controversial deportations are revealed.”
“Tanked,” eh?
Well, let’s look under the hood, shall we: Last week 57% of Americans supported Trump’s immigration policies. This week it “tanked” to 54%.
Three points!
The poll’s margin of error is 3.5, by the way. You don’t need to be a math major to recognize a big, fat, juicy Nothing Burger when you see one.
Besides, there’s a hidden danger for Democrats like Van Hollen: When you’re battling tooth and nail for the rights of an illegal alien, you’re not perceived as focusing on the rights of American citizens.
And this Kilmar Abrego Garcia guy isn’t the most sympathetic cat to build a movement around. There’s an awful lot of chatter connecting him to MS-13, and ample evidence he’s an abuser of women:
Kilmar Abrego Garcia had a history of violence and was not the upstanding “Maryland Man” the media has portrayed him as.
According to court filings, Garcia’s wife sought a domestic violence restraining order against him, claiming he punched, scratched, and ripped off her shirt,… pic.twitter.com/FpSV0k3i90
— Homeland Security (@DHSgov) April 16, 2025
The looming danger for the Democrats is, eventually, your constituents will notice that your priorities aren’t on us; it’s on them:
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- The Democrats didn’t care whatsoever when Elián González was rounded up at gunpoint and sent back to Cuba. But NOW they care?
- The Democrats sure don’t seem too animated about recovering American hostages who are STILL held by Hamas. But THIS GUY deserves the red carpet?
- They’re utterly indifferent to the American victims of illegal crime. When a Maryland woman was raped and murdered by an illegal alien, according to the victim’s own mother, Sen. Van Hollen “barely acknowledged [my] daughter.” But THIS GUY is their hill to die on?
For crying out loud, the Democrats want to DEPORT Elon Musk — and IMPORT Kilmar Abrego Garcia!
(Yeah, good luck selling that to the American people.)
And that’s why Van Hollen is the worst Van ever. When it comes to politics, Van Hollen is tone deaf.
Nickelback > Van Hollen.
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