When a client calls, I’ve simply pulled into the commute collection to pick up my two older kids from school. We’re in the middle of negotiating a multiple- six- find deal, but I take the call.
We discuss the project’s overall strategy, which primarily consists of creating a new site and brand identity for their business. As we’re going over the thinner factors, the school bell rings, and the children began rushing up.
” Can we examine this after, Jack”? I ask. The children are entering the vehicle, the parent says.
” No problem”, he says,” I’ll hit you up on Slack with my final comments, and you can get back to me later”.
As I kiss the children and learn about the day’s happenings in second grade and preschool, he pops off the range.
On the way house, I call one of my staff members, who I know focuses most of her working day in the days, when the town parent comes over after college.
” Hey, Jill, may you work some speedy changes on that deal? I have a lot of children things going on this day”.
” Certain thing”, she says. ” I’m on now until 5 p. m. and then again after 8 p. m”.
After an effective evening of piano lessons, running in the sprinkler, and a doctor’s visit for my 18- month- ancient with an ear infection, we sit along to family dinner, a nonnegotiable normal event in our house.
” Mother, what kind of site are you making nowadays”? my 6- season- older son asks. ” A great one — peach this time”?
” Maybe”! I joke.
” Sweet”! he says.
Eventually, the kids are in bed, and my father, who likewise flexed work time that morning to go our daughter’s school music, also has a little job to do. I review Jill’s notes, and we discuss the deal in a glass of wine while we chat and exchange signatures.
Corporate America Is n’t Accommodating Moms
It has n’t been easy to balance being a mother of four with work. There are n’t many positions that give mothers the flexibility they need. Most of the time, what companies expert as “flexible” company culture is unusual work- from- home days, endless ill leave, and even a month or two of paid maternity leave, if a woman is lucky. However, the majority of employers do n’t provide a “flexible” option that actually addresses motherhood’s complex logistical and physical problems.
It seems the universe wants us to choose: either the commercial life of 40 to 60 hours per month outside the home, with kids in daycare just as much ( if a person decides to have them ), or homemade, schooling, and plaid dresses. Millions of people are waiting to tell her she ca n’t if she wants to have a little bit of both.
Sadly, these are n’t just personal lifestyle choices, where each family makes the decisions that suit them best. They have been self-sorted into teams, with each team holding a very strong position on the benefits of their choice and the disadvantages of the opposing strategy.
The stay-at-home mother side is proponents of the idea that women can find their greatest fulfillment by stepping down from their jobs and becoming stay-at-home mothers. They claim that making such sacrifices is necessary to protect children from a culture that has created unremarkable and even dangerous childhoods for children today. Some claim that a woman’s place has always been inside her home, largely because she has a genetic preference for the domestic arts over corporate ladder-climbing. To many, a woman’s desire to seek professional fulfillment is filled with vice, not virtue, and ultimately leads to an empty existence.
The working mom side shares a few cautionary tales about the fates of women who are essentially abandoned by their husbands and are left without any marketable skills. They contend that women’s homemaking undermines their potential as gifts and does n’t provide for their intellectual development. They label the one-income household as an impossible luxury that makes women utterly unsatisfied. Some even uncharitably mock those who have chosen a more traditional path, portraying these women’s choices as attempts to please men who are n’t knowledgeable enough to care about the contentment of their wives.
This debate is rooted in historical relics, when this decision was actually made more binary by technological and physical limitations. The impossible choices that mothers made to provide for their families or to be present for their children can be witnessed by a generation of latchkey kids.
Deliverables, Not Billable Hours
Fortunately, in this aspect, it is no longer 1968. We can finally put on the boxing gloves of the past and embrace change and the development of a new, third-generational way of working that works for mothers. It is 2024.
Employers can make a few simple changes to allow mothers to choose between their jobs and their children in a way that works and fits their families, rather than forcing them to.
Moms thrive when work is tied to deliverables, rather than hours, when schedules move and wrap around sick days, half days, pick- ups, and drop- offs, and when there is a way to set one’s own bandwidth and have a job that fits it, rather than sweating to eke out an arbitrary 40 hours ( which is a nearly 100- year- old idea, by the way, and designed for a very different time ).
To find a job that would allow me to be a loving, constant presence for my children and give my professional abilities and aspirations a platform to grow and prosper, it took starting and building my own business. And I have the opportunity to offer them the same opportunity now that I can employ others.
By appealing to parents who want to work for a company that recognizes that childrearing is a fundamental component of healthy societies, we as a company can find untapped talent.
We allow our employees to set their own bandwidth — 25 percent, 50 percent, 100 percent, and they can increase or decrease as life circumstances allow. Babies are born, elderly parents need care, and sickness happens. We are aware of this and think that work should revolve around a person’s life rather than the other way around.
That implies that our workplace might not be as different as most. After a busy week at work, one of our teammates gets up early on the weekend to catch up on work by the weekend, or there are always nursing babies on calls or toddlers poking their heads in at the Zoom camera.
We still bake bread, make meals for friends going through tough times, cuddle feverish toddlers, and attend impromptu peanut butter and jelly picnics. However, we also pursue what we believe to be a genuine calling for our careers and the satisfaction of making a significant contribution to the financial goals of our families.
It’s also a significant factor in why our clients choose to work for us. When a client and consultant have a shared vision for the good that we want to see in the world, there is a wonderful coherence. Since we focus our business on mission-driven organizations that are genuinely trying to change the world in their fields, it’s especially important for our line of work.
They are aware that they are getting access to some of the best mothers in the industry who are also fighting for their families ‘ continued growth.
We understand that this approach might not work for every prospective client and that it might not be applicable to all businesses or organizations. However, it can work in enough locations and has enough potential clients. We’re charting a course that others can follow, one where women’s performance is based on the quality of the work rather than an outdated system of work, by changing how we conduct business at our own small firm.
What started out as a” will this work” prayer has turned into a big dream. We want to inspire a movement of CEOs who are aware that preserving the dignity of women and their irreplaceable responsibilities in their families will result in a higher productivity, growth, and better work environments.
Together, we can make work actually work for moms.
Regina Bethencourt is the CEO of Tenuto, a D. C. area creative agency, and a mom of four.
