As the 2024 vote looms, one issue is as inevitable as terrible battle ads and awkward discussion quips: the government’s grand plans to fix things. Enter the most recent bureaucratic savior, the CISA ( Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency ) new security plan.
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CISA has courageously announced its Plan to Align Operational Cybersecurity Objectives for Federal Agencies, that, certainly, if you fit much buzzwords, the computer will be protected. Best? This all take a moment to appreciate the eerie efficiency that comes with consolidated, top-down, one-size-fits-all solutions. Because of the lesson that history has left us, it’s that such solutions often function flawlessly, especially when they are planned by the sprawling apparatus of federal agencies. Cue the irony.
From the Department of Energy to the Department of Education, each national organization has wildly diverse businesses, demands, and challenges. But does that subject in the eye of the CISA? Nah. Let’s just hope for the best by directing the exact safety checklist to NASA and the Social Security Administration. When hackers exploit the gaps that will undoubtedly arise from treating all organizations like carbon copies of each other, I’m sure that wo n’t cause any issues in the future.
But wait, it gets better. America’s ambitious plans do n’t stop at domestic cyber control—we’re also eyeing international cooperation. Well, because everything improves security more than border-level streamlining efforts. This improve things, may we? One enormous, interconnected web of uniform techniques running from New York to New Delhi. What could possibly go wrong?
Here’s the point about foreign cooperation—it’s a great idea in theory. Sharing knowledge across governments, pooling resources, and coordinating defence strategies all good reasonable, especially when dealing with a worldwide problem like cyber threats. But there’s a darker side to this utopian vision because once you’ve got streamlined techniques, you’ve effectively created a template, a step-by-step regular, that can be exploited by attackers all over the world.
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Imagine an international” cooperation” plan, rolled out neatly and aligned with an elegant set of procedures. One simple set of standards can now be inserted into by a hacker in Russia, China, or the Ohio resident living in his basement. Cybersecurity, meet your new Achilles ‘ heel. We now have a streamlined global defense, one that can be cracked like a single lock on every gym locker, instead of a variety of defenses that were individually designed for the needs of various nations and industries.
Of course, the genius of such a plan is in assuming that nations ‘ cybersecurity frameworks are at least as generous and welcoming as those of America. The reality, however, is that many of our so-called international allies do n’t exactly play by the same rules, and their cybersecurity practices are likely as leaky as a sieve. The hackers will have a field day spreading new malware strains, creating chaos, and utilizing weaknesses in our digital defenses, are the only ones who are excited about streamlined global cybersecurity cooperation.
Speaking of weaknesses, let’s talk about the current government approach to shoring up our cyber defenses. In a spectacular burst of optimism ( or perhaps delusion ), the White House has announced a cybersecurity hiring” sprint” to help fill the 500, 000—yes, you read that right—half a million cybersecurity job vacancies. I think we can all agree that if there’s one thing the government excels at, it’s sprinting. The Department of Motor Vehicles, for example, is known for its light-speed service, and the IRS certainly does n’t make you wait long when it’s time to get that tax refund. Oh, wait.
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In an effort that feels more “woke” than practical, the administration aims to beef up federal cybersecurity jobs while prioritizing diversity, equity, and inclusion ( DEI ) as the crown jewel of its recruitment strategy. We should n’t take the risk of breaking digital glass ceilings in the name of breaking the field of cybersecurity, especially as the potential future wildfire of a still heavily unregulated world of artificial intelligence grows.
If the U. S. government thinks it can successfully hire 500, 000 people for one of the most technical, highly specialized industries on earth, all while balancing the fine line of quotas and qualifications, I’d like to remind everyone of another government program built on optimistic hiring targets: the Healthcare. gov website launched in 2013.
Even if the government were to fill these openings in vain, the reality is that we would still be left with a workforce that must operate within a bureaucratic nightmare. It’s one thing to hire people. In the muddled mess of government regulations, endless approval processes, and the painful reality that everything moves at a snail’s pace in government work, one thing is to give them complete freedom to do their jobs.
Where do we then, then? As 2024 approaches, the U. S. government is promising sweeping changes in cybersecurity—more alignment, more cooperation, more jobs. Big tech is experiencing some challenges, as the most recent Sequoia update for macOS 15 has security issues, while Google increased security by syncing passkeys across all devices. The unfortunate truth is that history has shown that government rarely does “more” in a way that actually works, even though private solutions may prove marginally better. There’s a reason the phrase” good enough for government work” exists.
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CISA’s plan, with its emphasis on alignment and one-size-fits-all solutions, is like bringing a butter knife to a gunfight. In the end, I’m left with little more than cynicism. Cybersecurity is too fast, too complex, and with increased cyberstalking, too dangerous for the government to handle efficiently. But do n’t worry, 2024 will bring another election cycle, and with it, more promises. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll all be saved by the next great government plan. Or at least, we’ll get another chance to watch it fail spectacularly.
