Growing up in a conservative Christian religion in Tucson , John Calvo said he had often been taught “dancing was of the dragon. ” He feared monsters would have his figure if he moved his foot to music.
When his home left Golden Dawn Tabernacle in 2006, one of the first habits Calvo took up was dancing. He learned East Coast Swing, West Coast Swing, the Lindy Hop and Salsa. He joined the University of Arizona Ballroom Dance Club and became a dynamic ballroom dance. It was his passion for decades.
John Calvo
John Calvo, a past member of the Golden Dawn Tabernacle, said he was raised in the church to assume that “dancing was of the devil. ” But when he left the tight, radical religion, he discovered that he loved ballroom dance. Ok, Calvo poses for a photo inside of his house in Tucson , Aug. 10.
“It was really, really healing to do something that I’ve been told my entire life was bad and go do it and enjoy it and truly turn it into a passionate hobby, ” Calvo said.
“You grow up in this setting where you have to request permission for everything or you get in trouble for all, ” Calvo said. “And you then have liberty to do all these things that normal people do. It’s only very free, sometimes overwhelming. … But it ’s it ’s been a wonderful experience. ”
Previous congregation describe similar experience of pleasure while exploring new freedoms after leaving Golden Dawn Tabernacle, or Tabernaculo Emanuel by its official name. Calvo and 19 former associates then describe the isolated group as a “cult. ”
They said they faced shunning or criticism if they did n’t following the church’s rigid rules: No phones. No online exposure. No Screens. No ties with strangers. No trips outside the condition. Virtually no work for females. Modest dress at all times. Long trousers for people. Dresses past the legs for women. Assigned tickets during solutions three times a year. Always give your donations.
Since leaving, the past people have discovered the pleasure of traveling, watching videos, celebrating holidays and having friends outside the religion. Ladies, who must follow more stringent rules than men, have found enjoyment and purpose in pursuing careers, wearing pants and other cool clothes, living on their own and creating decisions freely without needing a man’s acceptance first.
Isaac Noriega
Their reports of emancipation are a stark contrast to how their previous priest , Isaac Noriega, portrays those who have left the church. Noriega has told congregation that if they leave the church group and go out into the earth, they’ll become unemployed, addicted to drugs and alcohol, injured in car mishaps or “dead in a ditch, ” according to former congregation.
Those who leave are taken “out from under the body, ” meaning their body are handed over to Satan for the loss of their flesh, several former people said. They can no longer respond to their communities.
Church member Pedro Zuniga defended that process as a Biblical approach. Citing Matthew 18, Zuniga said Jesus says, “ When somebody leaves the faith, does n’t believe like you, or rejects or calls something blasphemy, he tells you to have that person as a heathen and publican, ” or tax collector. In other words, that people may be cast out of the cathedral community.
Noriega called the allegation that he divides households when one leaves the church “unequivocally fake. ” He said his religion does not admonish individuals.
“Every family system makes their own choices for themselves, ” he said.
Kimberly Garrido, 25, who left Golden Dawn in 2021, said “it felt freeing ” when she visited another Christian church for the first time. She said “everyone was delightful, ” no matter what they were wearing. The service was less about condemning people for not following specific guidelines and more about “the joy and freedom that we have in Jesus, ” she said.
“You can still be a Christian. You can also pursue Jesus. You can still have freedom, ” Garrido said. “You don’t need to be bound or tied down by all these laws or not go on a holiday or never have any flexibility or live a life where you’re no content or think that that ’s the only way because it ’s no. ”
Noriega pushed up on the notion that people are apparently trapped in the chapel and need to receive their “freedom. ”
“We have not asked people to join, and we never ask people to leave, ” Noriega said. “People may come and go as they please. We have no move visit. ”
Waves crashed into the Los Angeles sea and bubbled into a bright foam. A long strip of green lined the horizon, fading away into golden then darker blue. Garrido, 21 at the time, said she waded into the water and looked out across the gray-blue expanse that seemed to never end. It was the first time she had ever seen the ocean.
“ I was just blown away by how beautiful it was, ” Garrido said. “It’s different when you see it in pictures and then when you see it in real life it ’s just, wow. ”
“ I love — love — the beach, ” she said emphatically. “It’s like my favorite place. ”
Garrido was “fresh out ” of Golden Dawn Tabernacle, so visiting California made her “kind of scared, ” she said. Not only was she breaking Golden Dawn’s prohibition on traveling out of state, she said, but she also was visiting a place deemed dangerous by her former prophet William Branham.
“Branham says that Los Angeles will sink, ” she said. “It’s going to go down under, and all the sinful people are going to be washed away. ”
Golden Dawn is part of a fringe sect of Christianity called “The Message ” that has millions of followers worldwide, according to a rough estimate from an organization called Voice of God Recordings. Message believers consider Branham, a preacher who gained fame in the 1950s for his faith healings, to be God’s prophet for this generation. Before Branham died in 1965, he recorded about 1,200 of his sermons, which allows his ministry to continue growing.
A Lee Enterprises Public Service Journalism Team and Arizona Daily Star investigation found that many Message churches across the country treat women as “second-class citizens. ” Men use Branham’s misogynistic rhetoric to justify sexist behavior. Golden Dawn is one of the worst in its treatment of women, former members said.
The late Rev. William Branham died in 1965 but has millions of followers today who believe him to be a prophet. The religious movement he started is called “The Message. ”
Garrido said she left Golden Dawn because she wanted more options. If she stayed in the church, she would have had to live in her parents ’ home until she married one of the young men in the church community. She probably would n’t have known him well because Golden Dawn does n’t allow teenagers to date before they marry, Garrido said.
“It’s kind of like marrying a stranger, ” she said.
She would have been expected to start having children right away and be a homemaker while her husband worked, Garrido said.
She escaped a strict Tucson church, discovered what a lesbian is
Tucsonan Marissa Butterfuss tried to make it as a woman and wife in The Message, but marriage to a devout man proved disastrous. By leaving she revealed a whole new self.
“ I don’t think it ’s a bad thing to be a stay-at-home mom if you wanted to be, ” Garrido said. “ I have nothing against that. I’m not bashing that or putting it down. That’s a job. It’s just the fact that they don’t give you any options to choose. ”
Women at Golden Dawn must obey their husbands, so Garrido’s freedom would have depended on how strict her spouse was, she said.
Noriega said it ’s not true that women must stay in their parents ’ home until marriage. He said women in his church make their own decisions on what they want to do with their lives, and he named a few who have jobs or have gone to college. Several former congregants said those few women with jobs are the exception, not the rule. Noriega acknowledged that children should be under the “headship, ” or authority, of their parents, and declined to answer questions about why women are under the “headship ” of men.
Garrido said she wanted to pave her own way in life rather than have that dictated by a man. She said she wanted to make her own money, build a career, dress however she wanted, explore new places, watch TV and movies, and have a smartphone — all things that would have been prohibited in the church.
Kimberly Garrido
Kimberly Garrido was born and raised in a Message church called Golden Dawn Tabernacle in Tucson, Ariz. She left the church because she wanted the freedom to make her own choices with her life. Here, Garrido is pictured in Tucson on Oct. 17, 2023.
Garrido said former Golden Dawn member Andrew Loza and his wife “opened their house to me” as she transitioned into life outside the church. Believe the Sign, a website that supports ex-Message members, connected Garrido with Loza after she reached out for help.
Believe the Sign is one of several websites that ex-Message members have formed to encourage people to leave the religious sect. William Branham Historical Research, run by former Message believer John Collins, is another. Both websites challenge Branham’s prophecies and life story with historical evidence. Calvo started a similar website , Golden Dawn Tabernacle Research, where he reports alleged abuses of power in the Tucson church.
Garrido used the sites to do research after Golden Dawn’s negative teachings about women made her start questioning both her pastor and Branham. The research helped her realize that The Message “was n’t biblical” and that she “did n’t believe in the prophet anymore, ” she said.
Her experience is similar to many who have left The Message. Former members across the country and world have formed a loose community that supports those trying to leave the faith or adjust to life outside the church. Collins runs a Facebook page for former Message believers and shares their stories of recovery on his podcast, the William Branham Historical Research podcast.
John Collins in library
John Collins, an ex-Message member and researcher who has written several books about the late Rev. William Branham, adjusts microfilm in the Jeffersonville Township Public Library on Jan. 13. Collins has spent countless hours researching Branham’s life to debunk claims the preacher made during his ministry.
“We have a network of former members helping former members, and many of them still watch the video feeds of the churches, ” Collins said. “ I am told by former members of the movement that they’re starting to see a lot more empty pews than they used to. ”
Loza said teenagers and young adults have been leaving Golden Dawn in “throngs. ” About 15 young men and two young women, including Garrido, have stayed at his house temporarily in recent years so they have housing when they leave.
Loza, 50, left Golden Dawn when he was 18 because he wanted to “have a life. ” He joined the military, became a police officer and had children. He was fired from his job as a Pima County Sheriff’s Department deputy for lying about running a red light, but he now continues to serve his community as a counselor in a prison.
When some people leave cults, they want to move on and forget their experience, Loza said. Others, like himself, can’t help but look back at those who are still stuck, Loza explained as his eyes started to water.
“As I get older I look at all these girls and boys, not as church people but as an extension of me, ” Loza said. “Because if I was there, I would want somebody like me fighting for me. And I never had nobody. ”
Gabriel Cordova, who left Golden Dawn with his wife Zoe in March 2022, said they also help young people who leave the church. A few of them have crashed on his couch. Gabriel and Zoe host get-togethers with former members. Gabriel has hired a few of them to work at the house painting business he owns. Zoe sometimes takes them to the gym in the mornings, Gabriel said.
Gabriel Cordova left Golden Dawn Tabernacle with his wife in March 2022. He said they help young people when they leave the church because he knows the transition out can be tough. Here, Cordova poses for a photo in his home in Tucson, on Aug. 14.
Some of the young former members struggle when they first leave the church because they have n’t developed any life skills , Gabriel Cordova said. They have just been cut off from their families and the community they’ve known their whole life. They sometimes turn to binge drinking or drugs to cope, Cordova said.
Both Cordova and Loza said a young man who left Golden Dawn died from an overdose several ago. It’s unclear if the death was a suicide. Loza said he gives young people a play to stay in part because he never wants that to happen again.
That’s also why Cordova and his wife feel drawn to help.
“ I told her whatever we can do to help, even if it ’s just to cook a meal for somebody, ” Cordova said. “ Whatever we can do to help people when they first get out. ”
‘A prison mentality’
Rey David Aguirre knows how hard it can be to leave. Aguirre is the son of Reymundo Aguirre, one of Golden Dawn Tabernacle’s top leaders.
When Rey David left the church, he thrived at first, he said in an interview. He got a GED, became a construction foreman, and eventually started an auto body business. But then he got involved in big-time drug trafficking, and he ended up with a 10-year prison sentence.
Out now, he has established Capway Ministries — an effort to help others who are leaving the church.
Rey David Aguirre grew up in Golden Dawn Tabernacle but left the church when he was 18. He said it can be challenging and overwhelming to transition into life outside the church. Here , Rey David is pictured in Tucson on Oct. 17, 2023.
“If you’re not used to being alone and being isolated, it can play a huge role in your mental health, ” Aguirre said. “And a lot of these people that are leaving, if they can’t do that, if they can’t learn how to be by themselves, if they don’t know how to act out here or how to function out here, they get overwhelmed. ”
While Golden Dawn does instill a work ethic in its members, Aguirre said, most members are ignorant of personal finances and other basic skills needed outside the church. In addition, many are cut off from their family support.
A lot of the people he’s met who have left the church, Aguirre said, “have a prison mentality. ” And some who leave actually end up in prison. Aguirre coincidentally met another former Golden Dawn member , Anthony Rojas, who was serving time for separate cases of burglary and aggravated assault.
Rojas said in a letter from prison that he had the opportunity to be sentenced to probation if he returned to the oversight of the church. But he felt the church leaders wanted him back just to control and make an example of him.
“ I chose prison instead of getting released to them, ” Rojas wrote. “ I don’t regret making that decision to come to prison. I’ve learned a lot in here, and it helped me grow up. ”
‘Having fun’ with her children
JoAnn Malena, 44, had little support when she left Golden Dawn last year, but still managed to find her way.
JoAnn Malena
JoAnn Malena left Golden Dawn Tabernacle last year with little support as she went through a divorce from a man still in the church. But she persevered and has found happiness outside of the church. Here, she poses for a portrait at Himmel Park in Tucson on Feb. 27.
Despite having only an 8th-grade education and no job history, Malena was able to find employment as a caregiver for an elderly man. She is improving her reading and math skills and continuing to care for her children. She said she started going to therapy and traveled to Utah and California.
Malena said her children aren’t used to “mommy being happy. ” But she is. She loves traveling, working and having friends outside of church. Before leaving Golden Dawn, Malena said she was never able to go out and have fun with her children because aside from trips to the store for groceries or other essentials she was supposed to spend all of her time at home or at church.
“We were taught to just get what we need and go back home, ” she said in court during her November divorce trial. “Most of our life was just at home. ”
“This is my first time having fun with them, ” Malena said of her children. “Fun to me is going out to movies, going out to eat, traveling, enjoying the day, hanging out. That’s all things that before we were never exposed to. ”
Malena got excited in court when she explained that she plans to celebrate Christmas , Fourth of July, Easter, New Year’s Eve , Memorial Day, Thanksgiving and more with her children. Virtually every holiday is banned at Golden Dawn because the celebrations are deemed too secular.
“Every holiday I can celebrate I will, ” she said, her face lighting up with joy.
“I’m happy to be free, ” Malena said in an interview. “That’s all that matters is I’m free. ”
JoAnn Malena left Golden Dawn Tabernacle last year with little support as she went through a divorce from a man still in the church. But she persevered and has found happiness outside of the church. Here, she poses for a portrait at Himmel Park in Tucson on Feb. 27.
‘Live without fear’
Former members say the transition out of Golden Dawn is challenging but worth it.
Robert Roa sat with his fiancée Jamie Rozema and their dog Griffin in their Grand Rapids, Michigan home in May. Rozema looked over at Roa and smiled. She said she wanted to be there to support Roa as he unpacked his religious trauma.
He fled Tucson ‘cult ’ church at 19, but it took decades to get over
After he left his strict Tucson church, deacons went to Robert Roa’s work to bring him back, he said. Leaving the church was hard, and getting over the experience took decades.
When Roa was 19, he was shunned and reprimanded for going to the movie “Independence Day ” in theaters. He said a church deacon came over to his house to grill him about his sinful behavior.
“’You watching this movie equals you not believing in God, equals you being kicked out of your house, equals you becoming a drug addict, alcoholic, you’ll end up with AIDS, you’re gonna die, ’” Roa remembers a deacon explaining to him. “That is how they position things to you because if you’re fearful enough you won’t question anything. ”
Cordova and his wife were so fearful of getting caught at the movies when they were in Golden Dawn that they would drive two hours to a movie theater in Phoenix to make sure they did n’t run into anyone they knew, Cordova said.
Roa said he followed the rules because, in his mind, the church was “more powerful than the police, ” “more powerful than the President of the United States. ” It took him a long time to realize that the pastor and church leaders were “just people. ”
“The power I was giving them, the power they had over me was something that I could choose to not give them now, ” Roa said.
He said the consequences that Noriega and others fear-monger with “aren’t real. ”
Roa now has a steady job working as a sales manager for a Michigan-based cleaning and restoration company. He and his fiancée have a charming two-story home with red brick, white trim and a bit of green ivy growing up one side. Together, they have seven children, some of them adults now.
“Leaving is n’t what they say it ’s going to be, ” Roa said. “You can come out here and live the life that you want to live without fear of things happening just because you left. ”
Robert Roa 8
Robert Roa left Golden Dawn Tabernacle when he was 19 because church members ostracized him after discovering he had watched a movie in 1996. Movies, internet, TVs and smartphones are banned in the strict, pseudo-Christian church. Roa now calls Golden Dawn a “cult. ” Here, Roa is pictured with his fiancée , Jamie Rozema, in their home in Grand Rapids, Mich. , on May 23.
‘So many ’ possibilities
Garrido sat outside a coffee shop in downtown Tucson sipping a chai latte under the sun on Oct. 17, 2023. She wore light pink heels with pearl bows on them.
Her shoes matched her manicure, shirt and cream Coach purse with pink flowers. The biggest departure from what she called her “frumpy ” Message attire was her pants: blue skinny jeans cuffed at the bottom with stylish rips. No skirt.
Garrido became excited and smiled when talking about fashion. She sometimes thrifts clothes from local stores and resells them on Poshmark, a clothing resale app. Garrido leaned forward and showed a photo on her iPhone of a jacket she found for$ 5 and resold for$ 100.
Garrido said one of the best parts of being outside the church is finally being able to express herself through her clothes.
“ I was really excited to wear heels, ” Garrido said. “I’ve never been allowed to wear heels. ”
Garrido now lives in an apartment with her cousin. She works as an administrative assistant for a real estate company. She said she’s looking forward to researching potential careers. There are “so many ” possibilities for her to explore. She’s considering becoming an esthetician, interior designer or marketer.
Garrido said she’s proud of how far she’s come on her own. She hopes people don’t believe the lies Pastor Noriega and Golden Dawn congregants say about her and others who left the church.
“I’m just glad I have the freedom to do what I want, ” Garrido said.
“( Noriega ) will say people who left are miserable or they act like they’re happy and they’re not. Or he’ll even say that they’re dead. They’ll literally lie, ” Garrido said. “ He’ll say, ‘You’ll be a prostitute or on the street corner or be dead in a ditch. ’
“No. It’s not true. I’m doing good. If I can do it, you can. ”
Robert Roa left Golden Dawn Tabernacle when he was 19 because church members ostracized him after discovering he had watched a movie in 1996. Movies, internet, TVs and smartphones are banned in the strict, pseudo-Christian church. Roa now calls Golden Dawn a “cult. ” Here, Roa is pictured with his fiancee , Jamie Rozema, outside of their home in Grand Rapids, Mich. , on May 23.
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