Last-Minute Gifts for Your Liberal Family Members Who Still Talk to You

It’s Christmas Eve Day, and you’ve finished your searching. The gifts are wrapped, the bacon is available for the range, and your pub cart is complete. Maybe it’s time to take a nap before your home starts arriving around 7:00 am. Then you get the word from your progressive brother-in-law you didn’t anticipate:” Hey, happy holidays, me, woman, her boyfriend, and teh kids may be someone by 8. fyi Kaitlyn goes by Kyle and Connor then goes by Muhammad”.

That sleep is out the glass, you’ve got gifts to purchase. &nbsp,

As you had anticipated, it is starting to frost, but that was before you realized you had to shop for gifts for people you just see when there is complimentary food available. &nbsp,

FACT-O-RAMA! &nbsp, Democratic family users do not send gifts. They just eat, drink your great whiskey, fill up Ziploc bags of leftovers, and therefore refer.

You don’t have occasion to screen shop– what you need is a plan.

Your libdolt brother-in-law is the easiest to buy for, but simply how does one pack a job? Although you want to give him two gonads, his wife may only encircle them like the other two, so they won’t let him use them. A bottle of testosterone supplements would be excellent, but he fears” dangerous manhood” may cause him to “racistly” support his family against a possible home enemy. What’s the truth?

Perfect Gift&nbsp, All Gender Under Panties ( colors include: Sail Blue, Washed Lavender, and Beach Plum )

Your paranoid, overly medicated sister-in-law Beth will be harder to get for. Two years ago you spent a ton of money– at your brother-in-law’s urging– installing an exterior door to her secret room so she could work on her phallophobia. The door worked wonderfully and, after dozens of visitors, she now identifies as a “prom” ( promiscuous ) pansexual, except when it comes to your cuck brother-in-law, in which case she identifies as a steadfast aroace.

Great Gift Option 1 100 pet field of Pink Kitty Honey Sachet Female Contraceptives, &nbsp, Multi-size group

Great Gift Option 2&nbsp, Link to&nbsp, 17 Bible Verses&nbsp, as to why she may stop being a ‘ ho.

Knowing what to get your sister-in-law’s boyfriend is hard. Is it the same person she brought over on Thanksgiving? Or did she return to meet the two women you met on Labor Day? Does it question?

Great Gift&nbsp, Quest at-home STD assessments Grab Bag, complete =$ 1, 203.20

What if you purchase for much Bobby Muhammad? Making the transition from a university nerd to an anti-Semitic campus is a critical decision in a fresh liberal bigot’s life. College life can be difficult. And this encounter it, going to college is all about being nice. He didn’t harass Jewish learners unless he’s looking fantastic, right? What’s the truth?

Great Gift&nbsp, Keffiyeh from Etsy

Then the hard part: what to get Kaitlyn Kyle?

Kyle’s then in her senior year of college. Though she has been working on her having disorder since the 3rd level, Kyle doesn’t seem to shed those last 160 “vanity” pounds. &nbsp,

FACT-O-RAMA! &nbsp, Every liberal will enjoy receiving a cop of Lizzo’s Christmas hit,” I’m Dreaming of a Diverse Christmas”.

That ISIS Bride starter kit from the year before is dangling in her closet, and she never used that gift card to Planned Parenthood that you gave her last year. &nbsp,

But now Kaitlyn is a man, &nbsp, so let’s treat her like one!

Only a transphobe believes genitals define gender, but Kyle is going to love a realistic STP ( stand to pee ) phallus, available in numerous sizes and colors, not that either of those things matters.

For an extra$ 15, you can throw in a “packer” pecker. Kyle can be the man she currently believes she is, whether she is urinating on her name in the snow or showing off in the locker room.

Your no-fail gift list for the progressive family members in your life whose only Christmas resolution is to make people’s lives miserable. Remember, to them, Christianity is a scourge on the planet.

FACT-O-RAMA! &nbsp, As per PJ Media’s own Robert Spencer, in 2016, Islam was responsible for roughly 88 % of worldwide terror attacks and 99 % of terror-related deaths. Say what you like about Christianity, but I have never seen a nun explode.

Do you know of any great patriotic gift ideas? How about a PJ Media VIP subscription?

Merry Christmas everyone! &nbsp,

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