It was the tagline for “Poltergeist II.” Adorable Carol Anne sets up the sequel by whispering those chilling two words to her parents. Here’s the clip (sadly, the special effects are as dated as a certain ex-president).
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“They’re Baaaaaack!”
According to NBC News, the same could be said about the Biden family: They’re tanned, rested, and ready. Good news, Democrats: The Bidens are here to save the day!
NBC News, “The Bidens want back in”:
Former President Joe Biden has told some Democratic leaders he’ll raise funds, campaign and do anything else necessary for Democrats to recover lost ground as the Trump administration rolls back programs the party helped design, according to people close to him.
Biden privately met last month with the new Democratic National Committee chairman, Ken Martin, and offered to help as the party struggles to regain its viability amid polling that shows its popularity has been sinking, the people said.
Normally, having an ex-president at a party’s beck and call is a revenue-boosting asset. There are only 40 or so members of the “Presidential Club” (and most of ‘em are, like, dead), so people pay a premium to meet the ones that are still alive. (Or, in Biden’s case, mostly alive.) They’re still a huge, monetizable draw.
But for some mysterious reason, Biden’s offer to save the day has fallen on deaf ears:
So far, Biden’s overture seems to have fallen flat. Democrats find themselves adrift, casting about for a compelling messenger.
Whoever that is, it’s not Biden, many party activists and donors contend. He’s tethered to the 2024 defeat and, at 82, is a symbol more of the party’s past than its future, they argue.
“Who’s going to want Joe Biden back in the game?” said a major Biden supporter, speaking on condition of anonymity to talk candidly about him.
A spokesperson for the DNC didn’t provide a comment or make Martin available for an interview.
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Of course, we already knew that the Democratic donors had turned their backs on the Bidens because Hunter Biden announced that he’s broke. His court motion said it all:
“In the past three years, I sold 27 pieces of art at an average price of $54,481 each,” the motion stated. “But since December 2023, I have only sold one piece for $36,000.”
As for his memoir? Biden revealed that book sales had plummeted from 3,161 copies in six months to just 1,100 copies in the following period — leaving him without the lucrative speaking engagements or appearances he’d hoped for.
I can’t crunch numbers for Hunter’s memoir because I don’t know if he was compensated via a big, fat advance or was dependent on sales. But we can crunch the stats for his crappy, mediocre artwork: Hunter made $1.5 million!
Very seldom is political graft this transparent. Even by Democratic standards, this is truly exceptional work. Because, isn’t it strange: A talented, successful artist could make $1.5 million in just a few years — and then nobody wanted to buy ANY of his stuff ever again!
Garsh, it almost sounds like the knuckleheads who spent $54K (wtf!!) for each Hunter Biden Original were doing so for purposes (ahem) “disconnected from the merits of the artwork.”
(Idea for DOGE: Can we please get a breakdown of Hunter Biden’s art buyers? I strongly suspect that anyone who was so desperate to influence the Biden administration that they’d buy Junior’s paintings instead of conducting their bribery the good, old-fashioned way probably has quite a few skeletons in their closets.)
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The NBC article continued:
Though Biden is willing to help, Democrats aren’t unanimous in wanting them to. Some party activists believe Biden is an admired figure who remains a draw inside a grateful party.
Jane Kleeb, a vice chair of the DNC, said in an interview: “If you were to call any state party chair and ask them if they wanted Joe Biden to be a keynote speaker for their annual dinner, the answer would be yes. He is beloved by the party and beloved by the voters.”
Others argue that reminding voters of a 2024 campaign that went sour isn’t the best strategy for a party that is grasping for a message and searching for new, younger leaders. A CNN poll this month asked Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents which leader best reflects the party’s core values. Only 1% chose Biden.
Three months ago, Joe Biden was the most powerful man on the planet. He had his finger on The Button and he could eat as much ice cream as he wanted (as long as “Doctor” Jill Biden wasn’t watching).
And now, even amongst diehard liberal activists, his utility has been reduced to “speaker at annual dinner.” (Assuming the dinner wraps up by seven because Joe has to be in bed by 8 p.m.) It’s sad. Very “Sunset Boulevard.”
So, what does the ex-president think about all this?
Biden has no pangs of regret, a person familiar with his private conversations said. He remains defiant and believes Trump’s victory shows the party did itself no favors by pushing him to drop out of the race, the source said.
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In hindsight, it was tricky to detect the opening moments of Biden’s senility, because he’s always been a low-watt bulb. (There’s a very fine line between loopy, loony, and just plain lost.) But at this point, Biden’s delusions have coalesced with his mental infirmaries, forming a Venom-like symbiote that’s unlike anything else on this planet.
Joe Biden doesn’t just have a God Complex: He’s also convinced God has a Joe Biden Complex.
But what do the Biden family insiders think of all this?
Inside Biden’s close-knit circle, advisers have concluded that it’s not wise for him to respond publicly to every insult or accusation Trump throws his way. Doing so would personalize the issue, turning it into a contest between Trump and Biden, as opposed to keeping the focus on whether Trump is being truthful or not.
Biden’s approach for now is to let surrogates respond to Trump’s broadsides. Donna Brazile, a longtime Democratic strategist, said that’s the right posture.
“It makes no sense for Joe Biden to respond to Donald Trump,” she said in an interview. “The American people are not looking backward; they’re looking forward.”
Naturally, the Bidens are absolutely, completely, 100% wrong. From the autopen controversy to questions regarding who the hell was actually running the country, the American people deserve to know the truth.
And eventually, we will. Eventually, the autopen controversy (and scandals of that ilk) will be decided on the basis of intent: Did the President knowingly and deliberately want those documents to be signed? This means that, eventually, Joe Biden will be questioned — and not only by the media, but by government attorneys in a court of law.
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It’s in Biden’s personal interest to answer these questions sooner rather than later because time isn’t on his side. In all probability, his capacity to recall key moments of his presidency has already been compromised, and the longer he waits, the worse it’ll be.
Father Time is a motherbleeper.
Related: The Democratic Party Is Ripe for a Hostile Takeover. These Two People Will Do It.
Joe Biden can’t save the day for the Democrats. He probably can’t even save himself.
And for the love of God, won’t someone buy one of Hunter’s paintings?!
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