Top Five Movie Nazis Who Got Exactly What They Deserved

If there’s anything Hollywood — and its audience — loves more than a Nazi villain, it’s a Nazi villain who gets exactly what they deserve in the final reel.

I’d like to present the Top Five Movie Nazis Who Got Exactly What They Deserved, but before I do, I’ll remind you that this list is definitive and that no arguments or additions will be tolerated.

I’m kidding, of course — I only put together these lists as a jumping-off point for an excellent discussion in the comments section.

With that in mind, and with my general acceptance that half of you will say I got most of these wrong, shall we begin?

In no particular order…

Adolf Hitler (Bruno Ganz), “Downfall” (2006). It might be the performance that launched a thousand “Hitler learns…” memes, but there’s nothing funny about Ganz’s performance. In his last days, Hitler was falling apart — emotionally and physically — and yet remained as powerfully frightening as ever. Ganz somehow captured that in all its sweaty, trembling “glory.” We all know how Hitler died, but Ganz brought home just how much he deserved to die as the last of his “thousand-year Reich” crumbled around him after just 12 years of his rule. 

I was originally going to limit this list to fictional Nazis, but Ganz’s performance was so real, that it’s almost impossible to believe that such a character was real — if that makes any sense.

Standartenführer Hans “The Jew Hunter” Landa (Christoph Waltz), “Inglourious Basterds” (2009). From the moment we meet Waltz’s Landa, all sinister charm slowly revealing glimpses of cool hatred and murderous intent, there’s no doubt he’s a one-of-a-kind movie Nazi. Landa loves the sound of his own voice, but the shocker is that audiences can’t help but love it, too. Early in the movie, Landa brags to a Frenchman hiding Jews in his home that he’s “aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.” So it’s only fitting that Landa has his dignity stripped from him by an American Jew who carves a swastika into his forehead — an unmistakable scar he’ll wear into postwar Europe.

“Inglourious Basterds” isn’t for everyone. It isn’t even in my top five Tarantino movies. But Waltz is amazing.

“Head Nazi” (Henry Gibson), “The Blues Brothers” (1980). I will brook no argument over this pick. Gibson was probably best known for comic roles in “Laugh-In” and “Innerspace,” and his unnamed “Head Nazi” character was no exception. But you can probably trace Gibson’s role as an Illinois Nazi — I hate Illinois Nazis — back to another classic film. I refer, of course, to the Three Stooges short, “You Nazty Spy!” Contrary to common belief, the Stooges beat Charlie Chaplin’s “The Great Dictator” as the first American film to satirize Hitler. But back to “The Blues Brothers.” Gibson’s Nazi meets his end in a third-act car chase that ends with their Pinto (!!!) flying off an overpass. There’s a long, absurd free-fall — Gibson and his henchman calmly salute each other midair — before they plummet and crash straight down onto the pavement in front of City Hall. 

Hollywood, please give us more nasty Nazis we can laugh at.

Toht (Ronald Lacey), “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981). The irony of making a lighthearted swashbuckler film is that the villain still has to be a heavy. Enter Lacey — slowly, menacingly, right into Marion’s tavern — as Toht. Lacey played him with a slug-like intensity — yes, I realize that’s not even a thing — as a sadistic, occult-obsessed creep with a burned hand and a worse personality. You’d love to punch him in the face, except you wouldn’t want to get any of his evil, sweaty ooze on you. Toht’s obsession proves his downfall, as the spirits unleashed by the Ark of the Covenant literally melt his face off.

Melting Nazis. I love those guys.

Lt. Col. Erik Dorf (Michael Moriarty), “Holocaust” (1978). Talk about your “banality of evil.” Dorf was a fictional character, but was more or less a composite of any or all of the bloodless bureaucrats who enabled the Holocaust’s cruel machinery. Dorf starts off as a well-meaning lawyer but quickly — maybe even eagerly — succumbs to the temptations of pure evil provided by his status as an officer in Hitler’s Schutzstaffel. Dorf gave up his humanity for ambition, justifying each murderous act as a legal necessity. In the end, with the Allied and Soviet armies closing in on the ruins of Nazi Germany, Dorf killed himself. Not because he realized what he’d become, but because he fears that justice will be done. Moriarty won an Emmy for his performance.

This NBC miniseries aired when I was just nine years old, but my mother allowed me to watch it. Good on her, too. Children need to know that monsters aren’t always under the bed — and sometimes find justice.

I know I promised you a Top Five list, and yet we aren’t quite finished. 

A very special mention must go to Conrad Veidt as Major Strasser in “Casablanca” (1942). Not only did Strasser get the ending he so richly deserved — shot dead by Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) as Rick finally becomes the hero audiences hoped he could be. More importantly, Veidt’s performance defined the Hollywood Nazi for all time, from the first moment he appears on screen. Sharply dressed. Smug. Coldly authoritarian. And put down by an armed American in a bit of rough justice. 

It’s a straight line from Veidt’s Strasser to Waltz’s Landa. And audiences never tire of walking that line, no matter how many times Hollywood draws it.

Now, hit the comments to tell me what I missed.

Recommended: Antisemitism Is Here. So Is the Bear Jew Option.

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